Different

One morning in high school, the teacher introduced an "exchange student" from Columbia. She sat right in front of me, in the first seat of a row, so I automatically became her first friend. Everything about her was "different." She did not speak English very well, but she also had a "different" voice, different ways of doing things, different mannerisms, and even LOOKED different with her clothing and the way she wore her hair and makeup. The fact that so much of our common ordinary world was "new" to her was fascinating, and there was also a certain amount of notoriety associated with being her friend. At first, being around her was exhilarating ... but that was not to last. Over time, characteristics that had seemed so charming became simply annoying. As her circle of friends expanded, we drifted apart.

I suspect that there are some people who have an automatic tendency to unconsciously view "different" as "good", while others may have an equally-automatic unconscious tendency to view "different" as "bad". Imagine being offered a plate of totally-unfamiliar exotic foreign food. Some will consider this food "good" until proven otherwise, while some will consider it "bad". Some may hold onto their pre-existing bias even after tasting the food, insisting that unpalatable food is "good" strictly BECAUSE it is different, or labelling the food "bad" no matter how tasty it is. Some may taste the food with no pre-existing expectations, but I would guess this is the smallest of the three groups.

These biases apply to all areas of life. I cannot say whether the same people who like "different" food like "different" music, or whether the same people who dislike "different" cars dislike "different" people. I suspect so. It would be interesting to study.

As with our exchange student, it is easy to get caught up in the emotion of accepting something "different", just as it is easy to get caught up in the emotion of condemning something "different". As with other biases that effect our ability to see clearly, we cannot completely overcome these tendencies, but being aware of them can reduce their impact. In reality, there is no way to generalize the value of "different". Sometimes different is good, sometimes different is bad, sometimes different is just different -- though, to be thorough, sometimes different for the sake of different can be good, and sometimes different for the sake of different can be bad ... or sometimes just different.

Truth is complicated.