Definitions

A recurring theme in my writing is that words are not clear, due largely to the fact that each of us has our own continually-evolving definition of every word.

Once in college I faced a multiple-choice exam question about the precise definition of a particular scientific term. When the instructor marked my answer incorrect, I went to visit him carrying a textbook that defined the term exactly as I had defined it. He reached for a different textbook that defined the term as HE had defined it, though he admitted that he had never TAUGHT us that definition, or specified a textbook, so he reluctantly gave me full credit for my answer.

Even if we base our choice of words on precise dictionary definitions, someone armed with a different dictionary, or even a different edition of that same dictionary, can come up with a different meaning for our statements. If we use precisely the same definitions from the same dictionary, there is still the question of context and which part of the definition applies at that moment. The matter is further complicated by the fact that definitions are generally made up of even more words, each of which has its own definition.

Here is my very favorite definition, straight from my 1961 "Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary" (Merriam-Webster):
"calender -- One of a Sufistic order of wandering mendicant dervishes."

The two things that make me love this definition so much are:
1) It takes a familiar-sounding word, calendar, changes one letter, and defines it in an unexpected way that has nothing to do with the passage of time or days or months of years (or even with pressing cloth, rubber, paper, etc. between rollers to make it smooth and glossy, which IS spelled "calender"), and
2) The definition itself contains words that most people will need to look up in the dictionary in order to understand.

If I start talking about a "calender", and I am talking about a wandering mendicant dervish, YOU probably can be forgiven for thinking I am talking about a document that breaks the year down into months and weeks and days. There may be some confusion, and possibly even some hard feelings, but probably we will eventually be able to clarify the misunderstanding.

The problem comes when the differences in our definitions of words are more subtle. When people listen to my mother tell stories of her youth, it is easy to describe her as a "flirt". She is appalled at being described with this word, which for her seems to include the idea of sexual promiscuity. For ME, being a "flirt" may LEAD to sexual promiscuity, but the word "flirt" does not intrinsically contain this implication (I would use a word more like "slut" if that was what I was trying to say).

The problem is amplified when people insist -- or believe without even thinking about it -- that THEIR definitions are correct and universal.

With some words, it is the very definition of the word that is controversial and causes problems, yet people refuse to acknowledge that the definition itself is controversial. Politically, we throw around "-ist" words like "racist" or "socialist" or "Zionist" without ever bothering to establish or acknowledge the subtleties and controversies surrounding the definitions.

I will often pause in a discussion to attempt to at least vaguely define my terms, but I realize I can never fully define anything, and there will always be room for misinterpretation, even if both you and I are both armed with the best dictionaries money can buy.

Truth is complicated.